mirror, mirror

Am I the only one who has the tendency to be extremely self-critical?  I've become more and more aware lately of how I continuously beat myself down for everything, from not doing the dishes right away to the way my clothes fit.  The latter, my physical appearance, tends to be more of an issue with me.  I'm hoping this is a common thing.  But more than that, I'm hoping it's easy to fix.

In the book of Ephesians, Paul prays for "enlightened eyes" for the people of Ephesus so they would know the hope to which God has called them (Ephesians 1:18).  I think this should be my prayer too.  Without this renewed vision, it's impossible to focus on anything but the wrong thing.  Enlightened eyes help us see past the temporary and past the surface.  God told Samuel the prophet that God cares more about the heart than the outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7); with enlightened eyes, couldn't I be the same way?

Every morning I look into our bathroom mirror.  I see myself when I brush my teeth, wash my hands, do my makeup, and straighten my hair.  All the while my eyes are staring back at me, telling me everything that's wrong.  Your have dark circles under your eyes.  Your hair is frizzy.  Your arms are flabby.  Your stomach is still fat.  Sure doesn't sound enlightened, does it?

Sometimes my husband and I write little notes to each other on that same mirror using a dry erase marker.  A couple of weeks ago, he wrote "I love you" on my side of the mirror, and a few days later he added "best mommy in the world!" right underneath it.  It took me a few days after that to notice that in order to see my appearance, I had to look through those words written on the mirror.  Although I could move toward the other side of the mirror where there was nothing blocking my reflection, I found that I had a much better view right where I was at.  My husband's words of encouragement and affection effectively blocked out those dark circles and frizzy hair, and drew my attention away from what I thought I was wrong with me.  I had to read those words anytime I looked in the mirror, and they helped me to "see" who I really was.  I am loved, and I'm a wife and a mother.  Looks SO much better now.

Maybe that's how those enlightened eyes work.  Is it like putting on glasses to see everything through God's eyes, or is it like having cataracts that block out these negative thoughts and words we speak over ourselves day in and day out?  Might be a little of both.  Either way, I want more of His vision and His outlook.  I want to quit wasting time criticizing my flaws and instead glorify Him for all the good He's given me.  It's a tough thing to do, but really, it's not as though living the self-critical life is that easy either!