September 17, 2012

bondservant > SuperMom

So this past weekend I took a little time for myself to read an actual BOOK.  And it didn't feature a singing cucumber or a little red caboose.  It was glorious.  I really need to make a point to read more.  Anyway, the book was The Homeschool Experiment, a novel my sister loaned me.  Even though it's fictional, it has a Christ-centered focus and a lot of great resources.

The book is told through the point of view of Julianne, a stay-at-home mom who has been called to homeschool.  Throughout the book, Julianne struggles with self-doubt, as well as veiled (and not so veiled) criticisms from some family members about her ability to teach her children.  But in the end she learns that she only needs to please God, not others.  One verse that is repeated a lot in the book is Galatians 1:10:  "For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God?  Or am I striving to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ."

I read this verse again today, and it really struck me.  As moms, we really try to do it ALL.  Face it, we invented the WORD "multi-task."  We need a clean, sparkling house adorned with DIY projects from Pinterest.  Our children must be well-behaved and brilliant at all times.  And some of you moms have to do all this while also holding down a job outside the home.  We fear there's a stigma involved if we don't try to be SuperMom.  And this attitude simply isn't from God.

Check out the last part of that verse:  "If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ."  I looked up the word "bondservant" in the concordance of my Bible to see what exactly is involved with being a bondservant of Christ (Paul called himself one, so I'm thinking it's a good thing to be).  :o)

"The Lord's bondservant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God might grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will."  2 Timothy 2:24-26

Those are all really good qualities.  Especially for moms.  Being kind, patient, and "able to teach" are all qualities of the mom I want to be.  But I can't be those things, and everything else involved with being a bondservant of Christ, if I'm doing what I'm doing for the wrong reasons.  Even if I'm kind while disciplining my son, if I'm doing it to please those watching me then I'm not a bondservant of Christ.  I'm a slave to their expectations instead of to Him and His will.

God has also showed me that being a bondservant of Christ is a powerful thing; not just for me, but for my son as well.  Caleb loves church, worship music, and praying cute toddler prayers that consist of "Thank You Jesus, Amen!"  But I long for the day he accepts this Jesus he keeps hearing about into his heart and truly lives for him.  According to 2 Timothy, being a bondservant for Christ can help others "come to their senses" (verse 26).  My son is still young, not quite three years old.  But when I gently correct him when he misbehaves, I may very well be helping him come to his senses.  I want to be an example of that "knowledge of the truth," and help lead him to repentance so he may also become a bondservant of Christ.  And this cannot happen if my focus is pleasing men (or other moms) instead of God.

I want to be able to look back and know that I did all I could to please the Lord, and in turn helped lead my son to Him.  Because when I'm not acting like a bondservant of Christ, I really do end up being quarrelsome, unkind, impatient, and not so gentle. If I hand over each day to God, He can give me the strength and mercy to be all those things that Paul describes, even when I encounter food spills, temper tantrums, and burnt dinners.

So I need to learn to wait on the dirty dishes and read with my son instead.  To hold off on mopping the floor so we can go exploring outside.  To get off Facebook and let him sit in my lap, because all too soon he'll be too old for cuddling.  To trade off what I think (and what I THINK others think) should be done for what God calls me to do.

And thinking about all this is actually freeing.  I feel liberated from the unrealistic expectations I put on myself all the time.  Instead of thinking "I have so much to do today," or "What would so-and-so say if they saw this mess?!" I really should be asking "Lord, what can I do to please You today?"  On days when I actually do the latter, I find that all that other "stuff" still gets done, or else it just doesn't seem all that important anymore.

So I'm letting go of the whole SuperMom mentality.  I'd rather be a lowly bondservant of Christ instead.  :o)

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