never lose the wonder.

I confess, I've been neglecting this blog.  Really, I've been neglecting my time with Him.  It seems so much easier to go about my day and keep myself busy with projects rather than turn to the only One who can offer healing.  With each day, He offers me new mercies anyway, and reveals Himself in ways I never expect.  I feel so unworthy, but He sees me as gold.

Let me share something with you that He has taught me this week.  My almost two-year-old son recently learned the word "Almighty" from listening to a Third Day worship song.  My husband and I were impressed, and immediately encouraged him to also say "Jesus."  Let me tell you, whenever my son says the name of Jesus, his face lights up.  His countenance changes and it's like he KNOWS he's talking about Someone who's just wonderful.  Even though he's young and still doesn't have all of the knowledge yet, I really think God has already placed the wonder of all that He is in my toddler's heart.

It reminds me of that scene in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe when the Pevensie children have all entered Narnia and are sitting down with the Beavers.  Mr. Beaver tells them that Aslan is on the move, and immediately the atmosphere in the room seems to change.

"And now a very curious thing happened.  None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different.  Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning -- either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again.  It was like that now.  At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside.  Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror.  Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous.  Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her.  And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer."

I have to confess, this is one of my favorite passages in the whole Narnia series.  And the movie adaptation does a great job at conveying what C.S. Lewis was describing here.  At the name of Aslan, you see the expressions of the children's faces drastically change, as if they had just heard something very profound and life-changing, and each of them conveying it in a different way.

It might be a stretch, but when I see my young son's face light up when he speaks the name of Jesus, I like to think that perhaps he is also feeling as if a delightful strain of music is floating by.  Or maybe he's feeling more brave and adventurous.  Or maybe he's feeling something totally unique that he couldn't describe even if he had the ability to tell me.  I'm just excited that he's already open to the wonder of all that Jesus is.  And when he's old enough to learn about how Jesus walked the earth and died for our sins so that he could have a relationship with Him for all eternity, I'm hoping it'll just be more pieces to the puzzle snapping into place.  How amazing that will be.

I hate to admit it, but it turns out you can learn something from your kid.  Am I allowing the wonder of Jesus into my life?  I want to get to the point where even the mention of his name changes my face as well as the atmosphere in the room.  Thank You Lord for teaching me and loving me even when I don't find the time to crack open my Bible.  Show me more of Your wonder.

considering it all joy

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  James 1:2-4

I've read these verses hundreds of times over the years, but this week God showed me something new as I read them.  And of course it had to do with joy.  He's been bombarding me with this concept of being joyful lately, since I tend to be more on the melancholy and pensive side of things.  It's almost like I'm afraid to find joy in the little things, because what if it's not there in the bigger things?

I always considered this act of "considering it all joy" to be a simple, almost passive behavior.  Trials will happen to all of us; it's inevitable.  But when they happen to me, I tend to be more active with getting through the trial, not with finding joy within it.  And I think that's where I've been going wrong all these years.

We read in these verses that the testing of our faith produces endurance (or, in other translations, perseverance).  But what if finding joy within the trial that's testing our faith actually causes the product of endurance?  What if instead of being a passive behavior, finding joy becomes a catalyst that results in endurance?  Think about it.  Whether we strive to find joy in our trials or not, sooner or later we will get through them.  That testing of our faith could just as easily result in burnout, discouragement, and staying stagnant in our faith if we don't make finding joy a necessity.  No matter what the trial is, we could come out of the other side more mature and complete, or we could come out more frustrated and doubting than ever.  The difference is JOY.

So how do we find joy in the midst of trial?  Here's an idea.  Look to God, and instead of asking Him WHY, ask Him to remind you of WHO He is and WHAT He has done for you in your:

• past.  He has already come through for you and has helped you during past trials.  Did you try to find the joy in those trials, or did you just struggle to get through?  How did you feel on the other side?
• present.  He is doing a mighty work in you right now, using whatever trial you're in as a sculpting tool to shape you into something new and stronger.  He wants you to come out of this trial as someone who looks more like Him, someone more complete and sure in their faith.  
• future.  He will bring you out of this trial.  It won't last forever.  And you won't be the same person who entered that trial.  Skip down to verse 12:  "Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."  Only having joy in that trial will help you to focus on the Lord, to love Him, and to come out of that trial the right way.

So this behavior of "considering it all joy" really isn't an option.  It's a necessity.  If we want to learn from our trials and allow God to use those hard times to mold us and strengthen us, finding joy within the storm is really the only way to make that happen.  And being joyful doesn't mean having a smile plastered to your face, or denying the difficulty of the circumstances you find yourself in.  It doesn't mean to suck it up or to ignore your feelings of sadness and concern.  It simply means to worship Him.  It means making a choice to praise Him even when you're not sure what He's doing.  And it means drawing closer to Him and thanking Him for sticking with you as you learn from that trial.  When the trial is over, that catalyst of joy will result in greater endurance, which will probably help you persevere when the next trial comes.  Best of all, that endurance helps us become more mature in our faith, meaning a much more meaningful walk with Him.

Can you find joy in trials such as poverty, disease, and death?  I think you can.  Yes, it's hard to consider it all joy when you've lost your job, when a friend's body is wracked with cancer, or when a loved one dies.  But if you look to the One who is sovereign over all of this, He can help you find joy.  I can think of no better source of joy than our Heavenly Father, and He is always ready to share that joy with us if we only ask.

And we are filled with joy!

"The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad!" Psalm 126:3

So God led me back to Psalm 126 this morning. The last two verses of this psalm were the focus of a post from last month, and lo and behold, I'm back there again. Shocker.

This time, however, the remaining verses are my focus. The psalm itself is brief. Just six verses, equivalent to volumes and volumes of wisdom and insight into God's character and our walk with Him. The psalmist is offering praise to God for "return from captivity," and also asks for restoration for whatever was seemingly lost during that time of captivity ("Restore our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the South" verse 4). After a season of captivity and hardship, there comes a season of joyfulness and restoration.

During the past twenty-four hours, God has revealed Himself to me in such a special way in the lives of two couples I know. I don't call myself close friends with either couple, but we have enough of a friendship for me to be aware of their struggles and hopes. Both of these couples experienced difficulty having a child of their own, and then experienced the agony of waiting for a child to come their way through adoption. In both cases, their faith remained strong and they were such an encouragement to me. Yesterday I received news that one couple was finalizing an adoption of a precious baby boy, and the other was going to pick up their own baby boy today. I feel such joy for these friends and am amazed at God's perfect timing and sovereignty.

God showed me through this that times of joy will always follow times of weeping. He will restore whatever we think we lost during times of captivity, and in EVERY case we'll find that He gives us more than we ever thought possible. He mourns with us and rejoices with us, and I have no doubt that when He led these friends of mine to their babies, He had a HUGE smile on His face.

If you find yourself in a season of mourning right now, God is there with you. He has already laid plans for you and will lead you out in His perfect timing. And He will restore what was lost during that time of captivity. Lean on Him and allow this trial to draw you closer to Him.

If you find yourself in a season of joy, God is there with you. He rejoices with you, but also longs for you to share your joy with Him. Lean on Him and allow your joyful shouting to praise His name.

No matter where you find yourself, remember that God is good....ALL THE TIME!

Sowing in tears...

So I'm going to digress away from Isaiah today to share something that is a little personal, but very awesome!

Recently a sister in Christ shared a word for me that she had gotten from the Lord. It came with a picture of my son and I playing together joyfully. In fact, her entire word for me had to do with JOY, and that there's always a season for being joyful. She gave me a Scripture about sowing in tears and reaping with joy; it sounded oddly familiar at the time but I didn't delve further until today, almost a week later.

I was looking back in my journals from the past year, and I came across one rushed and disjointed entry dated 3/13/09. I quickly realized I penned this entry on the morning before I had a miscarriage; at the time, I was already experiencing some symptoms that indicated there was a problem with my pregnancy. I was waiting to go to the doctor to get checked out and I was crying out to God for help. I poured over the Psalms, trying to find some hope and security in them. I wrote a number of references down that morning, but the only verses I wrote down in their entirety were Psalm 126:5-6:

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."

Notice the first part of that passage?! That's why it sounded familiar to me. God gave me this verse as I was about to enter one of the most difficult parts of my life. I grieved the loss, and it made it difficult for me to pray and spend time with Him for some time. I believe He gave these verses to me to confirm that joy would come again, both in my relationship with Him and in the form of a second, healthy pregnancy a short time later. And while the birth of my son brought a dark season of postpartum depression, I've been mostly content since then, though always kind of expecting something else to go wrong.

I think God used my friend to remind me of this verse to show me His goodness, and that He really does work everything together for our good. There will be times when we will sow in tears, but that's just the prelude. Soon a harvest will come where we will reap with joyful shouting as we praise the Lord who provided it. Consider this verse from Hebrews: "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." There are hard lessons to be learned in the sowing, but righteousness and peace will come with the reaping.

Why did I share this? I think we all need to be more open and attentive to the Lord's voice, and when He gives us a word for someone else, we need to be obedient and share that word with them. My friend sharing with me helped me remember that God is always with me on this journey, and that a Scripture He gives me during a time of great sorrow will also be relevant during a time of unspeakable joy. So step out and tell others what God had shown you. Even if it seems uncomfortable. Even if you're afraid that the words you have to give them may not be what they want to hear. You will bless them and also bless the heart of the One who spoke those words to you. :o)