This time last year, I was saying good-bye to a child whose face I'll never see this side of eternity. This time six months ago, more good-byes were said. Makes me wonder where I'll be in another six months. I truly don't know the answer to that, but I'm trying to rest in His love and goodness.
I've been corresponding with another Anne, who I'm sure is also struggling to live up to her "full of grace" name. She recently lost twins to a miscarriage and we've been sharing thoughts, prayers, and advice for awhile now. Reading her latest email, I realized she's where I was six months ago. That place where you doubt God's goodness and you find yourself asking Him, "I know You had the power to save my babies, why didn't You?" And you feel horrible for asking Him that.
I still don't have all the answers for her, much less for myself. But I think it helps both of us to know that given time and prayer, it does get easier. I can look at where she is and see how far God has brought me, and she can look at where I am and know that He will be faithful to do the same for her.
I read in a novel recently about a shepherdess who searches for her lost lamb. She finds it with a broken leg, so she scoops it up in her arms and comforts it. The lamb protests at first, since the comfort jostles its broken leg and brings pain, but the shepherdess tells the lamb that it's all right; pain means more time in the Shepherd's arms. That really spoke to me. Even when God allows pain in our lives, His arms are always open. When we're in pain, we can also rest. The thing is, we have to learn how to do both at the same time. If we despair when we're in pain, if we bustle around and keep busy rather than deal with the pain, or if we shake our fists at God and refuse His comfort, then we can't rest in His arms.
Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather not have any pain in my life at all. But in this fallen world where pain and sadness are inevitable, my only comfort can be in His arms and in His constant presence that never leaves me. In His arms, I can learn how to be content and peaceful even when I don't know all the answers.
There are still times when the pain finds me and I remember all that I've lost. I start asking God the same questions my friend is asking Him now. When that happens, He calls me to rest in Him and to spend more time in His arms. I find once I'm there, all those questions fade away and I remember that He is good no matter what state my heart is in that day. And I also find that He never was disappointed in my weakness of faith, and that finding my way into His arms does His heart good too.
I heard this song the other day for the first time in awhile. The lyrics really made me think about the state of my mind and heart when I was in the darkest part of the pain. I wanted to come rest in Him, but my flesh told me that I couldn't as long as I was questioning what He was doing. I eventually came to understand that I can always come to God no matter what state I'm in. He just wants to love on me. :o)
Could I talk to You? Are You listening?
Would You let me ask the questions that burn inside of me?
I am reaching out, I am holding on
Feel like one of Your affections, but not quite like I belong.
I am numb today, everything's a blur.
I've seen too much to deny, too little to be sure.
Like a prodigal, like a distant son,
I can see You from a distance but I'm too ashamed to come.
Will You see me through this valley?
Will You hold my outstretched hands?
As the world caves in around me, help me understand.
~ "Outstretched Hands," Starfield
Showing posts with label trusting God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trusting God. Show all posts
November 13, 2012
September 17, 2012
bondservant > SuperMom
So this past weekend I took a little time for myself to read an actual BOOK. And it didn't feature a singing cucumber or a little red caboose. It was glorious. I really need to make a point to read more. Anyway, the book was The Homeschool Experiment, a novel my sister loaned me. Even though it's fictional, it has a Christ-centered focus and a lot of great resources.
The book is told through the point of view of Julianne, a stay-at-home mom who has been called to homeschool. Throughout the book, Julianne struggles with self-doubt, as well as veiled (and not so veiled) criticisms from some family members about her ability to teach her children. But in the end she learns that she only needs to please God, not others. One verse that is repeated a lot in the book is Galatians 1:10: "For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ."
I read this verse again today, and it really struck me. As moms, we really try to do it ALL. Face it, we invented the WORD "multi-task." We need a clean, sparkling house adorned with DIY projects from Pinterest. Our children must be well-behaved and brilliant at all times. And some of you moms have to do all this while also holding down a job outside the home. We fear there's a stigma involved if we don't try to be SuperMom. And this attitude simply isn't from God.
Check out the last part of that verse: "If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." I looked up the word "bondservant" in the concordance of my Bible to see what exactly is involved with being a bondservant of Christ (Paul called himself one, so I'm thinking it's a good thing to be). :o)
"The Lord's bondservant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God might grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will." 2 Timothy 2:24-26
Those are all really good qualities. Especially for moms. Being kind, patient, and "able to teach" are all qualities of the mom I want to be. But I can't be those things, and everything else involved with being a bondservant of Christ, if I'm doing what I'm doing for the wrong reasons. Even if I'm kind while disciplining my son, if I'm doing it to please those watching me then I'm not a bondservant of Christ. I'm a slave to their expectations instead of to Him and His will.
God has also showed me that being a bondservant of Christ is a powerful thing; not just for me, but for my son as well. Caleb loves church, worship music, and praying cute toddler prayers that consist of "Thank You Jesus, Amen!" But I long for the day he accepts this Jesus he keeps hearing about into his heart and truly lives for him. According to 2 Timothy, being a bondservant for Christ can help others "come to their senses" (verse 26). My son is still young, not quite three years old. But when I gently correct him when he misbehaves, I may very well be helping him come to his senses. I want to be an example of that "knowledge of the truth," and help lead him to repentance so he may also become a bondservant of Christ. And this cannot happen if my focus is pleasing men (or other moms) instead of God.
I want to be able to look back and know that I did all I could to please the Lord, and in turn helped lead my son to Him. Because when I'm not acting like a bondservant of Christ, I really do end up being quarrelsome, unkind, impatient, and not so gentle. If I hand over each day to God, He can give me the strength and mercy to be all those things that Paul describes, even when I encounter food spills, temper tantrums, and burnt dinners.
So I need to learn to wait on the dirty dishes and read with my son instead. To hold off on mopping the floor so we can go exploring outside. To get off Facebook and let him sit in my lap, because all too soon he'll be too old for cuddling. To trade off what I think (and what I THINK others think) should be done for what God calls me to do.
And thinking about all this is actually freeing. I feel liberated from the unrealistic expectations I put on myself all the time. Instead of thinking "I have so much to do today," or "What would so-and-so say if they saw this mess?!" I really should be asking "Lord, what can I do to please You today?" On days when I actually do the latter, I find that all that other "stuff" still gets done, or else it just doesn't seem all that important anymore.
So I'm letting go of the whole SuperMom mentality. I'd rather be a lowly bondservant of Christ instead. :o)
The book is told through the point of view of Julianne, a stay-at-home mom who has been called to homeschool. Throughout the book, Julianne struggles with self-doubt, as well as veiled (and not so veiled) criticisms from some family members about her ability to teach her children. But in the end she learns that she only needs to please God, not others. One verse that is repeated a lot in the book is Galatians 1:10: "For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ."
I read this verse again today, and it really struck me. As moms, we really try to do it ALL. Face it, we invented the WORD "multi-task." We need a clean, sparkling house adorned with DIY projects from Pinterest. Our children must be well-behaved and brilliant at all times. And some of you moms have to do all this while also holding down a job outside the home. We fear there's a stigma involved if we don't try to be SuperMom. And this attitude simply isn't from God.
Check out the last part of that verse: "If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." I looked up the word "bondservant" in the concordance of my Bible to see what exactly is involved with being a bondservant of Christ (Paul called himself one, so I'm thinking it's a good thing to be). :o)
"The Lord's bondservant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God might grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will." 2 Timothy 2:24-26
Those are all really good qualities. Especially for moms. Being kind, patient, and "able to teach" are all qualities of the mom I want to be. But I can't be those things, and everything else involved with being a bondservant of Christ, if I'm doing what I'm doing for the wrong reasons. Even if I'm kind while disciplining my son, if I'm doing it to please those watching me then I'm not a bondservant of Christ. I'm a slave to their expectations instead of to Him and His will.
God has also showed me that being a bondservant of Christ is a powerful thing; not just for me, but for my son as well. Caleb loves church, worship music, and praying cute toddler prayers that consist of "Thank You Jesus, Amen!" But I long for the day he accepts this Jesus he keeps hearing about into his heart and truly lives for him. According to 2 Timothy, being a bondservant for Christ can help others "come to their senses" (verse 26). My son is still young, not quite three years old. But when I gently correct him when he misbehaves, I may very well be helping him come to his senses. I want to be an example of that "knowledge of the truth," and help lead him to repentance so he may also become a bondservant of Christ. And this cannot happen if my focus is pleasing men (or other moms) instead of God.
I want to be able to look back and know that I did all I could to please the Lord, and in turn helped lead my son to Him. Because when I'm not acting like a bondservant of Christ, I really do end up being quarrelsome, unkind, impatient, and not so gentle. If I hand over each day to God, He can give me the strength and mercy to be all those things that Paul describes, even when I encounter food spills, temper tantrums, and burnt dinners.
So I need to learn to wait on the dirty dishes and read with my son instead. To hold off on mopping the floor so we can go exploring outside. To get off Facebook and let him sit in my lap, because all too soon he'll be too old for cuddling. To trade off what I think (and what I THINK others think) should be done for what God calls me to do.
And thinking about all this is actually freeing. I feel liberated from the unrealistic expectations I put on myself all the time. Instead of thinking "I have so much to do today," or "What would so-and-so say if they saw this mess?!" I really should be asking "Lord, what can I do to please You today?" On days when I actually do the latter, I find that all that other "stuff" still gets done, or else it just doesn't seem all that important anymore.
So I'm letting go of the whole SuperMom mentality. I'd rather be a lowly bondservant of Christ instead. :o)
January 18, 2012
growing through pain
I felt led to share one of my first attempts at prophetic art, although it's extremely out of my comfort zone to do so. This painting represents the pain and depression I went through after I experienced my second miscarriage a few months ago. The pain I felt was not only physical, but emotional too, and in many way it was much more intense than my first miscarriage back in 2009.
The Lord brought me healing as I painted, showing me that although I'm planted on fertile soil, sometimes He allows pain and disappointment to come into my life in order to draw me closer to Him (and for other reasons He hasn't revealed to me yet, and perhaps never will in this life). And the end result is something stronger, more beautiful, and more radiant than ever before.
The thing is, I don't see myself this way. But He does. And He sees all of His children this way, no matter what horrible experiences we've been through. I feel like He wants me to share it since everyone can relate to having painful experiences they can't explain. It IS possible to grow through pain.
November 13, 2011
Your ways are higher than mine.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9
I haven't even attempted to write a blog post in at least a month; the events during that time have been difficult, but it's time I started sharing what the Lord has revealed to me.
On September 24 of this year, I found out I was pregnant. I found out very early, and only took a pregnancy test because I felt an urging to do so. What followed were four blood tests and a confusing ultrasound. My levels were where they needed to be, and I knew without a doubt I was six weeks along at this first ultrasound, but we didn't see anything but a black hole. I was worried, but my husband gently reminded me that this is what happened with our son. And while it was troubling and disappointing not being able to see our baby on the screen, I held on to that memory and believed in my heart that if we gave it another couple of weeks, everything would turn out as it had before; we would see our baby and its fluttering heartbeat, and know that God had truly blessed us with a miracle once again.
The date of my second ultrasound was October 20. It was a crisp, cloudless morning, and my husband and I were planning on going out of town for a much-needed vacation that weekend, so I was excited yet nervous as I buckled our son into his carseat and started toward the doctor's office to meet Randall. About a minute into the trip, a familiar song came on the radio. You may remember from a past post that this song brought me great comfort during the two weeks of uncertainty of my pregnancy with our son. It speaks about being carried by God and placing our hope in Him even in the midst of a storm. The song is a few years old, and I don't hear it on the radio all that often anymore. I couldn't help but think that God Himself played this song for me, knowing I would be in the car and headed to the ultrasound at that moment. I praised Him for His thankfulness and believed that this song was a sign that everything would be all right, just as it had two and a half years earlier.
About an hour later, my husband and I stared at the screen in the ultrasound room with heavy hearts. Try as she might, the ultrasound tech couldn't find any evidence that a baby was in there. When we should have been able to see the small form of our developing child, all we saw were bits of matter scattered here and there in a sickening, disorganized array. It became clear that we would have to say good-bye to another one of our children, and I remember saying to Randall once we were alone in the room, "I don't think I can go through this again." He answered back, "Yes, you can," and immediately after those words I heard God speak into my soul, "I'm with you."
It would be several hours later, when my husband and I had dropped off our son with his grandparents and were headed to Tennessee to take our trip as planned, when I would think of that song again and wonder why it had played on the radio that morning. Why would God do that to me? I thought back on the lyrics of the song, and realized that it still brought me comfort even in this situation. It, like most of the songs that revolve around God and His goodness, spoke the truth. And His truth is steadfast in any circumstance, even in this one that still doesn't make sense to me almost a month later. I don't know why He allowed me to get pregnant again, I don't know why He told me to take the pregnancy test so early since knowing early ended up not saving the child's life, and I don't know why this child was destined only for Heaven and not for earth here with me first. I just know that His ways are higher than mine. It hurts, and I suspect it will hurt for awhile. Like with the first child we lost, there will come a day when I don't think of what I've lost every minute, but I know little pangs of hurt and disappointment will come and go for the rest of my life. Maybe He does this so I won't ever stop longing for my true home, and so I won't ever forget that there is a higher purpose for all of us.
Even though this second miscarriage has been a lot more painful and difficult than the first (both emotionally and physically), I am still thankful for His faithfulness. I never doubted His love and sovereignty for a moment. He knows I'm hurting and cries along with me. I'm thankful for His hand, even though I'm not always sure about what He's doing. And I'm thankful that His ways are higher than mine. He may be a mystery at times, but He's the only One I trust. His words, even when sung as song lyrics, are true and can speak to my heart no matter how a situation turns out. And I'm grateful for that one constant that I can count on when nothing else in life seems sure. He IS my constant!
September 14, 2011
what I've learned from Naomi.
This morning I was looking through past entries in my journal. I mostly use my journal for jotting down sermon notes and devotionals, as well as any dreams or words of knowledge that God gives me for myself or others. I find it particularly interesting to go back one year and see where I was and maybe (hopefully) see how much I've changed.
Around this time last year, underneath a Sunday message, I had this jotted down....
"The name 'Naomi' has been on my heart for awhile now, and I wasn't sure why until this morning when we got to ministry time [a time in our service where people can go up if they want prayer]. I was praying to God about risk-taking and stepping out [the very point of the message I had just heard!] and He brought up Naomi again. He told me that up till now I've been more of a Naomi than a Ruth; stuck living in a cave, grieving my losses while someone else goes out and gathers sheaves. He's calling me out to be more like Ruth in my boldness to step out and work in His kingdom, but to also maintain the wisdom Naomi had to instruct Ruth on how to do so."
Remember the story of Mary and Martha, and how Mary chose the better part by lingering at Jesus' feet rather than jumping up to help Martha in the kitchen? I think a balance between the two is required of us most days; spending that precious time with our Heavenly Father, while still serving others and doing our little part to further the Kingdom.
The same is true in the case of Naomi and Ruth. We tend to sympathize more with Ruth (and why not? The whole book is named after her, not to mention she's the one who lands herself a husband and a son by the end!), but let's not forget what Naomi can teach us. This is a woman whose worst nightmare came true. She lost her husband and two sons, and was forced to return to her homeland in order to have any hope of surviving on her own. And she was blessed with the company of Ruth, her widowed daughter-in-law who refused to leave her. Ruth gathered sheaves in the fields of their kinsmen-redeemer, Boaz, and long story short, the two got married and blessed Naomi with a grandson to care for.
I'm not sure why, but I always picture them living in a cave when they got to Bethlehem. Maybe I read that somewhere else, but my Bible doesn't say they did. But even if they didn't live in a physical cave, you have to agree that Naomi was dwelling in an emotional one for sure. She even told her friends, "I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty" (Ruth 1:21). She stayed in that cave while Ruth went out to keep them fed.
But Naomi still had a purpose. She lovingly advised Ruth when it came to gleaning in Boaz's fields, and kind of played matchmaker in a way (check out her counsel that led to the somewhat-shocking threshing floor proposal in chapter 3!). Although she felt that God had afflicted her (1:21), Naomi still retained His love and wisdom, and allowed those things to manifest themselves in her dealings with Ruth to bless her as well. And because of her faith in the midst of grief and uncertainty, Naomi became the catalyst that led to not only a marriage, but to the restoration of her name and family, as well as the birth of the child Obed who's in the very lineage of Jesus Christ.
So I think it's okay to have a little Naomi in all of us. That part of us may get scared or emotional in times of struggle, but as long as we remain faithful in the One who is guiding us through, the wisdom and love He pours out on us can certainly spill onto others. But don't be afraid of having a little Ruth in you either, since some difficult times also require us to roll up our sleeves and get to work in the fields, all the while receiving counsel from other wise Christians. It's all about balance. Some situations require more Naomi than Ruth, or vice versa. Just don't write Naomi off. All you have to do is read Ruth's story to see she was more important to the outcome than most of us realize!
Around this time last year, underneath a Sunday message, I had this jotted down....
"The name 'Naomi' has been on my heart for awhile now, and I wasn't sure why until this morning when we got to ministry time [a time in our service where people can go up if they want prayer]. I was praying to God about risk-taking and stepping out [the very point of the message I had just heard!] and He brought up Naomi again. He told me that up till now I've been more of a Naomi than a Ruth; stuck living in a cave, grieving my losses while someone else goes out and gathers sheaves. He's calling me out to be more like Ruth in my boldness to step out and work in His kingdom, but to also maintain the wisdom Naomi had to instruct Ruth on how to do so."
Remember the story of Mary and Martha, and how Mary chose the better part by lingering at Jesus' feet rather than jumping up to help Martha in the kitchen? I think a balance between the two is required of us most days; spending that precious time with our Heavenly Father, while still serving others and doing our little part to further the Kingdom.
The same is true in the case of Naomi and Ruth. We tend to sympathize more with Ruth (and why not? The whole book is named after her, not to mention she's the one who lands herself a husband and a son by the end!), but let's not forget what Naomi can teach us. This is a woman whose worst nightmare came true. She lost her husband and two sons, and was forced to return to her homeland in order to have any hope of surviving on her own. And she was blessed with the company of Ruth, her widowed daughter-in-law who refused to leave her. Ruth gathered sheaves in the fields of their kinsmen-redeemer, Boaz, and long story short, the two got married and blessed Naomi with a grandson to care for.
I'm not sure why, but I always picture them living in a cave when they got to Bethlehem. Maybe I read that somewhere else, but my Bible doesn't say they did. But even if they didn't live in a physical cave, you have to agree that Naomi was dwelling in an emotional one for sure. She even told her friends, "I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty" (Ruth 1:21). She stayed in that cave while Ruth went out to keep them fed.
But Naomi still had a purpose. She lovingly advised Ruth when it came to gleaning in Boaz's fields, and kind of played matchmaker in a way (check out her counsel that led to the somewhat-shocking threshing floor proposal in chapter 3!). Although she felt that God had afflicted her (1:21), Naomi still retained His love and wisdom, and allowed those things to manifest themselves in her dealings with Ruth to bless her as well. And because of her faith in the midst of grief and uncertainty, Naomi became the catalyst that led to not only a marriage, but to the restoration of her name and family, as well as the birth of the child Obed who's in the very lineage of Jesus Christ.
So I think it's okay to have a little Naomi in all of us. That part of us may get scared or emotional in times of struggle, but as long as we remain faithful in the One who is guiding us through, the wisdom and love He pours out on us can certainly spill onto others. But don't be afraid of having a little Ruth in you either, since some difficult times also require us to roll up our sleeves and get to work in the fields, all the while receiving counsel from other wise Christians. It's all about balance. Some situations require more Naomi than Ruth, or vice versa. Just don't write Naomi off. All you have to do is read Ruth's story to see she was more important to the outcome than most of us realize!
May 27, 2011
considering it all joy
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4
I've read these verses hundreds of times over the years, but this week God showed me something new as I read them. And of course it had to do with joy. He's been bombarding me with this concept of being joyful lately, since I tend to be more on the melancholy and pensive side of things. It's almost like I'm afraid to find joy in the little things, because what if it's not there in the bigger things?
I always considered this act of "considering it all joy" to be a simple, almost passive behavior. Trials will happen to all of us; it's inevitable. But when they happen to me, I tend to be more active with getting through the trial, not with finding joy within it. And I think that's where I've been going wrong all these years.
We read in these verses that the testing of our faith produces endurance (or, in other translations, perseverance). But what if finding joy within the trial that's testing our faith actually causes the product of endurance? What if instead of being a passive behavior, finding joy becomes a catalyst that results in endurance? Think about it. Whether we strive to find joy in our trials or not, sooner or later we will get through them. That testing of our faith could just as easily result in burnout, discouragement, and staying stagnant in our faith if we don't make finding joy a necessity. No matter what the trial is, we could come out of the other side more mature and complete, or we could come out more frustrated and doubting than ever. The difference is JOY.
So how do we find joy in the midst of trial? Here's an idea. Look to God, and instead of asking Him WHY, ask Him to remind you of WHO He is and WHAT He has done for you in your:
- past. He has already come through for you and has helped you during past trials. Did you try to find the joy in those trials, or did you just struggle to get through? How did you feel on the other side?
- present. He is doing a mighty work in you right now, using whatever trial you're in as a sculpting tool to shape you into something new and stronger. He wants you to come out of this trial as someone who looks more like Him, someone more complete and sure in their faith.
- future. He will bring you out of this trial. It won't last forever. And you won't be the same person who entered that trial. Skip down to verse 12: "Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." Only having joy in that trial will help you to focus on the Lord, to love Him, and to come out of that trial the right way.
Can you find joy in trials such as poverty, disease, and death? I think you can. Yes, it's hard to consider it all joy when you've lost your job, when a friend's body is wracked with cancer, or when a loved one dies. But if you look to the One who is sovereign over all of this, He can help you find joy. I can think of no better source of joy than our Heavenly Father, and He is always ready to share that joy with us if we only ask.
March 28, 2011
hope now
So our 15-month-old has become obsessed with our stereo. He's recently figured out that music comes out of it, and if I put a CD in he'll just stand in front of it and listen, smiling if the song picks up in tempo or goes from quiet to loud. Today the stereo was off, and he ran over to it, pointing. So I turned it on, and we've been listening to music all day. I even went deep into my collection of CD's, ones that I haven't listened to in forever, with songs that I'm sure Caleb has never heard before.
At one point during the day, all I wanted to do was lay around and read. Or nap. Caleb was going strong, and all he wanted was for me to get on the floor with him and play. And let me just say he was insistent. I tried to get him to sit with me on the couch with a toy and play that way, but he wasn't for that at all. Finally, I conceded and got on the floor with him, where we preceded to fill and empty his shape sorter twenty times in a row.
And he was in rare form; everything I did or said was hilarious, he figured out how to put a few of the shapes in the sorter himself, and then he imitated kissing me on the cheek (and, for the first time ever, he said "muah" while doing it and didn't even slime me). I started feeling content and thinking, okay, kid, this was a good idea after all. Sorry I didn't do this earlier.
Then, as if on cue, a song came on that I had almost forgotten about. A song that became my prayer when times were difficult and I was grasping at my faith.
When I found out I was pregnant with Caleb, I had just had a miscarriage a couple of months earlier. To add to my anxiety, my first ultrasound with him was a disaster. The ultrasound technician struggled to find any evidence that I was 6 weeks pregnant, but all we could see was a black hole inside the sac on the screen. She finally concluded that either my calculations were off, or my baby was simply not developing right. What followed were two agonizing weeks of waiting before another ultrasound would be done. I struggled with guilt during that time. I felt guilty that I had allowed myself to get pregnant again when I had been advised to wait longer. I felt guilty that I couldn't seem to share my husband's faith that our baby was fine and the ultrasound tech had gotten things all wrong. And I felt guilty that I was still grieving one child, yet praying my heart out for another.
I listened to this song every day during that time. This might sound cheesy, but in a way it became my prayer when I didn't know how to pray. And it helped lead me to the most meaningful thing I would say to God during those two weeks..."Lord, I choose to be thankful for whatever time I have with this child...thank You for the privilege of being a mother once again, even if it's for a short while." It helped me surrender my fears completely to Him, and to yearn for His Word when my worry was trying to get the best of me. And it became a song of rejoicing when my husband and I saw our baby for the first time at the end of those two weeks. That little bean-shaped spot on the screen measured 8 weeks, making my previous calculations correct; to this day I'm not certain whether the ultrasound tech measured wrong on that first ultrasound, or whether God performed a miracle within me that caused Caleb to grow the way he did. I tend to believe the latter.
So when I heard this song today while playing with my son in our living room, my memory jogged in an instant and I found myself in tears. I remembered all the prayers that were said for this miracle child, and all the times my heart cried out to God like David's did so many times in his Psalms. I remembered when I would have given anything to be able to play with the child I had lost. I remembered wondering if God would ask me to say good-bye to another child. I remembered all the growing I did in those two weeks of waiting. And all the growing Caleb did as well.
Most of all, I remembered God's sovereignty and blessings. And it made my play-time with my son that much sweeter.
At one point during the day, all I wanted to do was lay around and read. Or nap. Caleb was going strong, and all he wanted was for me to get on the floor with him and play. And let me just say he was insistent. I tried to get him to sit with me on the couch with a toy and play that way, but he wasn't for that at all. Finally, I conceded and got on the floor with him, where we preceded to fill and empty his shape sorter twenty times in a row.
And he was in rare form; everything I did or said was hilarious, he figured out how to put a few of the shapes in the sorter himself, and then he imitated kissing me on the cheek (and, for the first time ever, he said "muah" while doing it and didn't even slime me). I started feeling content and thinking, okay, kid, this was a good idea after all. Sorry I didn't do this earlier.
Then, as if on cue, a song came on that I had almost forgotten about. A song that became my prayer when times were difficult and I was grasping at my faith.
When I found out I was pregnant with Caleb, I had just had a miscarriage a couple of months earlier. To add to my anxiety, my first ultrasound with him was a disaster. The ultrasound technician struggled to find any evidence that I was 6 weeks pregnant, but all we could see was a black hole inside the sac on the screen. She finally concluded that either my calculations were off, or my baby was simply not developing right. What followed were two agonizing weeks of waiting before another ultrasound would be done. I struggled with guilt during that time. I felt guilty that I had allowed myself to get pregnant again when I had been advised to wait longer. I felt guilty that I couldn't seem to share my husband's faith that our baby was fine and the ultrasound tech had gotten things all wrong. And I felt guilty that I was still grieving one child, yet praying my heart out for another.
I listened to this song every day during that time. This might sound cheesy, but in a way it became my prayer when I didn't know how to pray. And it helped lead me to the most meaningful thing I would say to God during those two weeks..."Lord, I choose to be thankful for whatever time I have with this child...thank You for the privilege of being a mother once again, even if it's for a short while." It helped me surrender my fears completely to Him, and to yearn for His Word when my worry was trying to get the best of me. And it became a song of rejoicing when my husband and I saw our baby for the first time at the end of those two weeks. That little bean-shaped spot on the screen measured 8 weeks, making my previous calculations correct; to this day I'm not certain whether the ultrasound tech measured wrong on that first ultrasound, or whether God performed a miracle within me that caused Caleb to grow the way he did. I tend to believe the latter.
So when I heard this song today while playing with my son in our living room, my memory jogged in an instant and I found myself in tears. I remembered all the prayers that were said for this miracle child, and all the times my heart cried out to God like David's did so many times in his Psalms. I remembered when I would have given anything to be able to play with the child I had lost. I remembered wondering if God would ask me to say good-bye to another child. I remembered all the growing I did in those two weeks of waiting. And all the growing Caleb did as well.
Most of all, I remembered God's sovereignty and blessings. And it made my play-time with my son that much sweeter.
"Hope Now" by Addison Road
If everything comes down to love,
Then just what am I afraid of?
When I call out Your name,
Something inside awakes in my soul.
How quickly I forget I'm yours.
I'm not my own, I've been carried by You all my life.
Everything rides on hope now.
Everything rides on faith somehow.
When the world has broken me down,
Your love sets me free.
When my life is like a storm,
Rising waters, all I want is the shore;
You say I'll be okay, and make it through the rain,
You are my shelter from the storm.
Everything rides on hope now.
Everything rides on faith somehow.
When the world has broken me down,
Your love sets me free.
You've become my heart's desire,
And I will sing Your praises higher,
'Cause Your love sets me free,
Your love sets me free,
Your love sets me free.
March 17, 2011
new things.
"Behold, the former things have come to pass. Now I declare new things; before they spring forth I proclaim them to you." Isaiah 42:9
Am I the only one who's immediately transported back to circa 1993 when reading this verse? Come on, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. If you were in any kind of youth group back then, you know everyone was all over dcTalk and sang "Nu Thang" with reckless abandon. Or maybe that cassette was released before 1993, and I was just very slow with that trend. Who knows. Guess that's why I said "circa." But I digress. :o)
The first part of Isaiah 42 is a really awesome prophecy about Jesus (another reason why I love my New American Standard Bible; this version capitalizes pronouns attributed to the Trinity, so there's no confusion about who the writer is talking about!). Jesus is described as God's chosen one (verse 1) who will "faithfully bring forth justice" (verse 3).
And how will he bring forth justice? By opening the eyes of the blind and releasing captives from prisons (verse 7). I used to read this in a literal way, but God has shown me lately that there are more ways to be blind than in a physical fashion, and there are myriad of internal or spiritual prisons that can hold us captive.
Really, until we find Jesus and trust Him with our lives, we are all blind to the fact that we need a Savior. We can be blind to the needs of the poor or blind to patterns of sin in our lives. Jesus came to open our eyes to these "spiritual cataracts" so nothing will blur our focus on Him and what He wants to do with us. He trades our blind eyes for new eyes, in a way.
And we might find ourselves trapped in prisons of addiction, temptation, out-of-control emotions, or those same patterns of sin mentioned before. I know one of my main "prisons" is depression. God has had to release me from that prison again and again, and really it's only because of Him that I'm walking free of that today. Jesus came to give us abundant life (John 10:10); a life in prison does not allow for any kind of abundance, unless it's an abundance of pain and regret. With our release from prison comes a new lease on an abundant life, and the realization that as long as we're walking in-step with Jesus, there's no reason that we have to go back to our prison again.
The best part is, God declares the "new things" He has in store for us before they even happen (check out verse 9 again)!. Meaning He won't wait until your eyes have been opened or the prison door swings open to show you the promise He has planned out for you. That's His blessing for us. He may not reveal specifics, but He does offer the promise of new things again and again. In the midst of our pain and darkness, He peels back the curtain just a bit to reveal the light on the other side, which illuminates the new things He wants to do in our lives if only we ask Him to help us see with new eyes and walk in new freedom.
Trust in Him. He holds the salve for your blinded eyes and the keys to your prison cell. He wants to do a new thing for you!
March 13, 2011
two years ago today...
....I lost someone very precious to me.
....I realized that it is very possible to love someone without ever seeing their face.
....I learned that someone very small can leave a very big legacy.
....I heard God whisper, "I'm crying with you, beloved, but I have a plan."
....I began to see that I didn't need to know all the answers.
....I gave up my pain and confusion to God, and learned to love and trust Him even in the midst of the WHY.
Thank You, Father. I still don't fully understand, but thank You for sticking with me anyway. :o)
....I realized that it is very possible to love someone without ever seeing their face.
....I learned that someone very small can leave a very big legacy.
....I heard God whisper, "I'm crying with you, beloved, but I have a plan."
....I began to see that I didn't need to know all the answers.
....I gave up my pain and confusion to God, and learned to love and trust Him even in the midst of the WHY.
Thank You, Father. I still don't fully understand, but thank You for sticking with me anyway. :o)
February 1, 2011
Connections
Today I read the first half of Isaiah 30. I only had time to read half because I had a Bible study this morning, so I read verses 1 through 17. Later that morning a sister in Christ quoted verse 18 of Isaiah 30, so I figured that was a good indication from God that I need to finish this chapter up soon!
But first, something cool God showed me about the first half. God uses this prophecy to warn Judah through Isaiah because they are forming an alliance with Egypt instead of turning to Him. In fact, verse 2 says they didn't even consult Him before doing so! The latter part of that verse caught my attention though:
"...To take refuge in the safety of Pharaoh and to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt!"
I read that phrase a few times, thinking, It seems to me I've read these words before. Sounds like a psalm I've read a bunch of times. I'll admit, I couldn't remember which one exactly. Definitely looked it up in the back, and discovered the one I was thinking of was Psalm 91.
Check out Psalm 91:1...."He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty." The words "shelter" and "shadow" are what jogged my memory in the first place, and here they are in Psalm 91! The fact is, we all seek shelter somewhere, especially when life gets difficult. We can find our refuge in the comforting shadow of God who covers us with His mercy and love, or we can settle for something far less and deal with the pain that inevitably follows when we place our trust in someone or something other than our Lord. How cool is it that God uses the same terminology in two different books of the Bible to get that point across!
But the connections don't end there. Read on to verse 6, where God's people are described as carrying their "riches" and "treasures" on the backs of their beasts of burden to Egypt, "a land of distress and anguish, from where come the lioness and lion, viper and flying serpent." And yeah, I totally got distracted with the whole "flying serpent" idea. Hopefully you did too. That way I won't feel so silly. But anyway, I looked back in Psalm 91, and in verse 13 it reads, "You will tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent you will trample down." Again, similar terminology yet very different circumstances. In Egypt (or at least on the way to Egypt), God's people are prophesied to encounter lions and snakes, and I can only surmise by the tone of the prophecy as a whole that the creatures pose a real danger to them, yet they are so determined to be allies with Egypt that they don't realize that maybe these animals are simply obstacles God put in their way. If only they chose to align themselves and their "riches and treasures" with God, then the once-threatening lions and snakes would become the hunted instead (Psalm 91:13).
One more. Verse 17 of Isaiah 30 says that the rebelliousness of God's people will become their destruction, in that "one thousand will flee at the threat of one man." In the previous verse, Isaiah prophesies that the people of Judah will not take God's call for repentance seriously, and will instead put their trust in acquiring more "swift horses." (Ever tried to cling to something worldly rather than just repent and turn to God? I know I have.) As a result, they use those horses to try to outrun their enemies, and it seems they're not very successful since all it appears to take is one man to cause a thousand more to flee (verse 17). Look back in Psalm 91. Verse 7 says, "A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, but it [destruction] will not approach you." This verse, and the psalm as a whole, describes the peace and security we have access to when we abide with God and put our trust in His hands. Instead of being one of those thousand people fleeing from one singular enemy, we can be one singular person causing a thousand ememies to flee! Remember, Romans 8:37 says that in the face of any hardship or danger we are more than conquerors; the NASB says we overwhelmingly conquer. That means overcoming on a large scale. Why cause one nagging temptation to flee when you can cause a thousand to flee? With His help, we can.
It's always cool to me when I find similar words and phrases in different books of the Bible. The fact that they're there stresses the fact that the Bible is indeed God-breathed. Who else could have inspired such subtle yet powerful connections? It also stresses the fact that we should read the Bible as a whole, instead of picking and choosing certain books or passages or stories. True, we have our favorites, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that; it helps with memorization, application, prayer, and sharing God with others when we read and re-read our favorite sections of Scripture until they are imprinted on our minds and hearts. But especially after what God has shown me today with these two passages, one a sobering prophecy and the other a sweet song of thanksgiving, I for one want to start delving into the parts of His word that I seldom consider reading. Seeing one idea reinterated or rephrased in a different manner from one passage to another can lead to deeper understanding, more meaningful application, and more powerful prayers. Those are all things I desire in my walk with God. May His Word always speak to me in new and exciting ways.
But first, something cool God showed me about the first half. God uses this prophecy to warn Judah through Isaiah because they are forming an alliance with Egypt instead of turning to Him. In fact, verse 2 says they didn't even consult Him before doing so! The latter part of that verse caught my attention though:
"...To take refuge in the safety of Pharaoh and to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt!"
I read that phrase a few times, thinking, It seems to me I've read these words before. Sounds like a psalm I've read a bunch of times. I'll admit, I couldn't remember which one exactly. Definitely looked it up in the back, and discovered the one I was thinking of was Psalm 91.
Check out Psalm 91:1...."He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty." The words "shelter" and "shadow" are what jogged my memory in the first place, and here they are in Psalm 91! The fact is, we all seek shelter somewhere, especially when life gets difficult. We can find our refuge in the comforting shadow of God who covers us with His mercy and love, or we can settle for something far less and deal with the pain that inevitably follows when we place our trust in someone or something other than our Lord. How cool is it that God uses the same terminology in two different books of the Bible to get that point across!
But the connections don't end there. Read on to verse 6, where God's people are described as carrying their "riches" and "treasures" on the backs of their beasts of burden to Egypt, "a land of distress and anguish, from where come the lioness and lion, viper and flying serpent." And yeah, I totally got distracted with the whole "flying serpent" idea. Hopefully you did too. That way I won't feel so silly. But anyway, I looked back in Psalm 91, and in verse 13 it reads, "You will tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent you will trample down." Again, similar terminology yet very different circumstances. In Egypt (or at least on the way to Egypt), God's people are prophesied to encounter lions and snakes, and I can only surmise by the tone of the prophecy as a whole that the creatures pose a real danger to them, yet they are so determined to be allies with Egypt that they don't realize that maybe these animals are simply obstacles God put in their way. If only they chose to align themselves and their "riches and treasures" with God, then the once-threatening lions and snakes would become the hunted instead (Psalm 91:13).
One more. Verse 17 of Isaiah 30 says that the rebelliousness of God's people will become their destruction, in that "one thousand will flee at the threat of one man." In the previous verse, Isaiah prophesies that the people of Judah will not take God's call for repentance seriously, and will instead put their trust in acquiring more "swift horses." (Ever tried to cling to something worldly rather than just repent and turn to God? I know I have.) As a result, they use those horses to try to outrun their enemies, and it seems they're not very successful since all it appears to take is one man to cause a thousand more to flee (verse 17). Look back in Psalm 91. Verse 7 says, "A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, but it [destruction] will not approach you." This verse, and the psalm as a whole, describes the peace and security we have access to when we abide with God and put our trust in His hands. Instead of being one of those thousand people fleeing from one singular enemy, we can be one singular person causing a thousand ememies to flee! Remember, Romans 8:37 says that in the face of any hardship or danger we are more than conquerors; the NASB says we overwhelmingly conquer. That means overcoming on a large scale. Why cause one nagging temptation to flee when you can cause a thousand to flee? With His help, we can.
It's always cool to me when I find similar words and phrases in different books of the Bible. The fact that they're there stresses the fact that the Bible is indeed God-breathed. Who else could have inspired such subtle yet powerful connections? It also stresses the fact that we should read the Bible as a whole, instead of picking and choosing certain books or passages or stories. True, we have our favorites, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that; it helps with memorization, application, prayer, and sharing God with others when we read and re-read our favorite sections of Scripture until they are imprinted on our minds and hearts. But especially after what God has shown me today with these two passages, one a sobering prophecy and the other a sweet song of thanksgiving, I for one want to start delving into the parts of His word that I seldom consider reading. Seeing one idea reinterated or rephrased in a different manner from one passage to another can lead to deeper understanding, more meaningful application, and more powerful prayers. Those are all things I desire in my walk with God. May His Word always speak to me in new and exciting ways.
August 23, 2010
And we are filled with joy!
"The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad!" Psalm 126:3
So God led me back to Psalm 126 this morning. The last two verses of this psalm were the focus of a post from last month, and lo and behold, I'm back there again. Shocker.
This time, however, the remaining verses are my focus. The psalm itself is brief. Just six verses, equivalent to volumes and volumes of wisdom and insight into God's character and our walk with Him. The psalmist is offering praise to God for "return from captivity," and also asks for restoration for whatever was seemingly lost during that time of captivity ("Restore our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the South" verse 4). After a season of captivity and hardship, there comes a season of joyfulness and restoration.
During the past twenty-four hours, God has revealed Himself to me in such a special way in the lives of two couples I know. I don't call myself close friends with either couple, but we have enough of a friendship for me to be aware of their struggles and hopes. Both of these couples experienced difficulty having a child of their own, and then experienced the agony of waiting for a child to come their way through adoption. In both cases, their faith remained strong and they were such an encouragement to me. Yesterday I received news that one couple was finalizing an adoption of a precious baby boy, and the other was going to pick up their own baby boy today. I feel such joy for these friends and am amazed at God's perfect timing and sovereignty.
God showed me through this that times of joy will always follow times of weeping. He will restore whatever we think we lost during times of captivity, and in EVERY case we'll find that He gives us more than we ever thought possible. He mourns with us and rejoices with us, and I have no doubt that when He led these friends of mine to their babies, He had a HUGE smile on His face.
If you find yourself in a season of mourning right now, God is there with you. He has already laid plans for you and will lead you out in His perfect timing. And He will restore what was lost during that time of captivity. Lean on Him and allow this trial to draw you closer to Him.
If you find yourself in a season of joy, God is there with you. He rejoices with you, but also longs for you to share your joy with Him. Lean on Him and allow your joyful shouting to praise His name.
No matter where you find yourself, remember that God is good....ALL THE TIME!
So God led me back to Psalm 126 this morning. The last two verses of this psalm were the focus of a post from last month, and lo and behold, I'm back there again. Shocker.
This time, however, the remaining verses are my focus. The psalm itself is brief. Just six verses, equivalent to volumes and volumes of wisdom and insight into God's character and our walk with Him. The psalmist is offering praise to God for "return from captivity," and also asks for restoration for whatever was seemingly lost during that time of captivity ("Restore our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the South" verse 4). After a season of captivity and hardship, there comes a season of joyfulness and restoration.
During the past twenty-four hours, God has revealed Himself to me in such a special way in the lives of two couples I know. I don't call myself close friends with either couple, but we have enough of a friendship for me to be aware of their struggles and hopes. Both of these couples experienced difficulty having a child of their own, and then experienced the agony of waiting for a child to come their way through adoption. In both cases, their faith remained strong and they were such an encouragement to me. Yesterday I received news that one couple was finalizing an adoption of a precious baby boy, and the other was going to pick up their own baby boy today. I feel such joy for these friends and am amazed at God's perfect timing and sovereignty.
God showed me through this that times of joy will always follow times of weeping. He will restore whatever we think we lost during times of captivity, and in EVERY case we'll find that He gives us more than we ever thought possible. He mourns with us and rejoices with us, and I have no doubt that when He led these friends of mine to their babies, He had a HUGE smile on His face.
If you find yourself in a season of mourning right now, God is there with you. He has already laid plans for you and will lead you out in His perfect timing. And He will restore what was lost during that time of captivity. Lean on Him and allow this trial to draw you closer to Him.
If you find yourself in a season of joy, God is there with you. He rejoices with you, but also longs for you to share your joy with Him. Lean on Him and allow your joyful shouting to praise His name.
No matter where you find yourself, remember that God is good....ALL THE TIME!
August 2, 2010
Lasting
"If you will not believe, you surely shall not last." Isaiah 7:9a
In the seventh chapter of Isaiah, the prophet is given words from the Lord to give to Ahaz, the king of Judah. Rival kings are threatening Judah with almost-certain invasion and war, and the Lord tells Ahaz through the prophet Isaiah to "take care and be calm" (verse 4), and that ultimately the evil plan "shall not stand nor shall it come to pass" (verse 7). However, He also provides a warning to the king in verse 9, saying "If you will not believe, you surely shall not last."
Interesting word, "last." My bible has a sidenote that says the phrase "be established" can be used in place of it. So if Ahaz does not believe, he shall not "be established." Here we see the true consequences of unbelief: not only will we see our demise (the end), it will be as if we never got established (the beginning) in the first place!
We see something similar in 2 Chronicles 20. In this case, Judah is also facing invasion of their enemies. King Jehoshaphat fervently prays to God before an assembly of his people, saying, "we are powerless before this great multitude who are coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You" (verse 12). His prayers are answered when the Spirit of the Lord falls on a man named Jahaziel, who says that this battle is not theirs but the Lord's, and that if they face this great multitude He will be with them (verses 14-17). When the people of Judah go to fight their enemies, Jehoshapat reminds them, "put your trust in the Lord your God and you will be established. Put your trust in His prophets and succeed" (verse 20). Appointed worshippers go out before them and praise the name of God, causing their enemies to ultimately destroy one another.
Two different kings facing very similar circumstances. Both instances involve possible conflict, a seemingly hopeless situation, and a call to believe and not fear. Jehoshaphat chose to believe God and to take Him at His word, therefore he succeeded and his kingdom was established in the Lord's name. If we believe God even in the midst of battle, we will be established in His eternal kingdom; what else can possibly last that long?
One more important point. Notice that it was only after the appointed singers started worshipping that their enemies began to destroy each other (see 2 Chronicles 20:21-23). Often God calls us to go that extra mile in the midst of a trial. It is one thing to believe Him, and it is another to believe AND worship Him no matter what the circumstances. We often face difficult situations in order to stretch us and to strenghthen our belief; why not use these times to stretch our worship muscles as well?
This chapter of Isaiah does not reveal the outcome of this impending war against Judah. Without further reading, we can't be sure right now whether Ahaz chooses to take Jehoshaphat's example and believe that God will take care of him, or whether he simply chooses to take matters into his own hands.
One thing is certain, we can all relate to Ahaz's situation. We all endure times of struggle that ultimately lead to a crossroads where the signs read "BELIEF" or "UNBELIEF" and face opposite directions. Which way will you choose?
In the seventh chapter of Isaiah, the prophet is given words from the Lord to give to Ahaz, the king of Judah. Rival kings are threatening Judah with almost-certain invasion and war, and the Lord tells Ahaz through the prophet Isaiah to "take care and be calm" (verse 4), and that ultimately the evil plan "shall not stand nor shall it come to pass" (verse 7). However, He also provides a warning to the king in verse 9, saying "If you will not believe, you surely shall not last."
Interesting word, "last." My bible has a sidenote that says the phrase "be established" can be used in place of it. So if Ahaz does not believe, he shall not "be established." Here we see the true consequences of unbelief: not only will we see our demise (the end), it will be as if we never got established (the beginning) in the first place!
We see something similar in 2 Chronicles 20. In this case, Judah is also facing invasion of their enemies. King Jehoshaphat fervently prays to God before an assembly of his people, saying, "we are powerless before this great multitude who are coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You" (verse 12). His prayers are answered when the Spirit of the Lord falls on a man named Jahaziel, who says that this battle is not theirs but the Lord's, and that if they face this great multitude He will be with them (verses 14-17). When the people of Judah go to fight their enemies, Jehoshapat reminds them, "put your trust in the Lord your God and you will be established. Put your trust in His prophets and succeed" (verse 20). Appointed worshippers go out before them and praise the name of God, causing their enemies to ultimately destroy one another.
Two different kings facing very similar circumstances. Both instances involve possible conflict, a seemingly hopeless situation, and a call to believe and not fear. Jehoshaphat chose to believe God and to take Him at His word, therefore he succeeded and his kingdom was established in the Lord's name. If we believe God even in the midst of battle, we will be established in His eternal kingdom; what else can possibly last that long?
One more important point. Notice that it was only after the appointed singers started worshipping that their enemies began to destroy each other (see 2 Chronicles 20:21-23). Often God calls us to go that extra mile in the midst of a trial. It is one thing to believe Him, and it is another to believe AND worship Him no matter what the circumstances. We often face difficult situations in order to stretch us and to strenghthen our belief; why not use these times to stretch our worship muscles as well?
This chapter of Isaiah does not reveal the outcome of this impending war against Judah. Without further reading, we can't be sure right now whether Ahaz chooses to take Jehoshaphat's example and believe that God will take care of him, or whether he simply chooses to take matters into his own hands.
One thing is certain, we can all relate to Ahaz's situation. We all endure times of struggle that ultimately lead to a crossroads where the signs read "BELIEF" or "UNBELIEF" and face opposite directions. Which way will you choose?
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